SPN Fanfic: Recommended Daily Intake (Conversation)

[caffienekitty]

Title: Recommended Daily Intake
Characters: Sam, Dean
Rating: GEN, PG
Word Count: 270-ish
Warnings: The assertions in this ficlet are not recommended by the Dietary Association of anywhere. Conversation Format.
Disclaimer: Not mine, just playing.
Summary: Sam and Dean discuss culinary definitions.
A/N: This fic was inspired subconciously by part of ficwriter1966's latest post, and conciously by a stern discussion with myself.

Conversations
by CaffieneKitty

Recommended Daily Intake
-
Timeframe:
Sometime during early Season one.
-

"You need to eat more vegetables, Dean."

"Hey, I eat vegetables! I'm eating one right now!"

"...Dean, that's pie."

"Yeah!"

"Pie is not a vegetable."

"Is too! See! Pumpkin pie! Pumpkin is totally a vegetable."

"It's a fruit."

"Pumpkins are not fruit."

"When you eat the whole plant it's a vegetable. When you eat the plant's seed pods it's a fruit."

"...Is this like that tomato thing when you were eight?"

"Yeah."

"But you admitted a tomato was a vegetable then."

"You were sitting on my chest, Dean."

"Doesn't matter. A tomato's a vegetable, and so is a pumpkin."

"They're fruits."

"Vegetables."

"Okay, fine. Vegetable matter. But that does not make pie a vegetable."

"This pie is made from a vegetable. Therefore, it is a vegetable."

"Ketchup is made from tomatoes and it's not a vegetable. Or a fruit."

"Totally is."

"It's a condiment!"

"Still a vegetable. Ketchup is an even better vegetable than plain tomatoes."

"What? Why?"

"It's concentrated. I bet about a hundred tomatoes go into making a bottle of ketchup."

"...okay, you're probably right about the tomatoes, but that still doesn't make ketchup, or that pie, a vegetable!"

"What part of 'it's made of vegetables' don't you get, Sammy?"

"It's not though! It's got sugar and crust and whipped cream!"

"And vegetables. The rest is a garnish."

"Crust is a garnish?

"Structural element. Does not in anyway count against pie being a vegetable."

"What about whipped cream? You can hardly see the pie under all the whipped cream, Dean, how is that a garnish?"

"That? Is a protective insulating covering.

"Protective covering."

"Keeps the vegetable at the right temperature and protected from the elements."

"Really."

"Plus, it's dairy. Calcium. Good for the bones and crap."

"...You know what, Dean, never mind. Pie is a vegetable. Go nuts."

- - -
(that's it)

Conversations Index

Comments

[raincitygirl.livejournal.com]

Heeee! So funny.

[angelbsb.livejournal.com]

lol too cute .sam's got a point about the pie not being a veggie lol.

[saberivojo.livejournal.com]

Dean is a man afer my own heart. You should see how I can rationalize a Snicker bar.

[smalltwndreamer.livejournal.com]

BWAH! I love it. "Dean, that's *pie*."

Dean!logic. It makes the world go round.

[choreograph999.livejournal.com]

HAHAHHAHHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA *wipes tears of laughter* That was freaking hysterical!!

[minx999.livejournal.com]

That was too funny. And so Dean! Never come between him and his pie, heh.

[caffienekitty]

Thanks!

[caffienekitty]

Yes, he really does. :-D

[caffienekitty]

Well, yeah! There's nuts! That's protein! And chocolate's supposed to be good for you now. :-D

[caffienekitty]

*glee* Indeed it does.

[caffienekitty]

Thank you! :-D

[caffienekitty]

Absolutely.

[irismay42.livejournal.com]

Heh heh heh, I can so imagine Dean sitting on Sam and forcing him to admit tomatoes are vegetables! (And that's not as kids either!)

[sandrinnad.livejournal.com]

I can so see this happening :D :D

(recommended daily dose of caffienekitty = perfect way to uncrap a day :D )

[dendritejungle.livejournal.com]

Heh. Dean missed his calling. He should have been a lawyer.

[bugeyedmonster.livejournal.com]

Funny!

[lovebanshee.livejournal.com]

Ah, the interminable "is tomato a vegetable or a fruit?" debate... it has mutated, indeed, and moved on to pies... Great stuff!

And Ö *gasp* you listen to the Arrogant Worms?! I wasn't aware of more than 4 people in my life who even knew about them! This makes 5! No wait, 6, including me! *GLEE!* (I feel like I've done this before somewhere... um did I already know that you listened to them and just forgot, or is this really actually news to me? *scratches brain* I. don't. remember... WELL anyhooz, it's worth saying again, if anything!)

[auriliawestlake.livejournal.com]

*Giggling madly*

You know, I had this exact same argument with my brother-in-law six or eight years ago (only he wasn't so cunning as to realize that whipped cream was an insulating layer - he only came back with the 'dairy' aspect).

[eilonwy.livejournal.com]

Wheee! This was awesome! Even my icon agrees!

[selinamoonfire.livejournal.com]

This is awesome. I fell out of my chair laughing. This should have happened in the show.

[brigid-tanner.livejournal.com]

LMAO!! Could totally hear them in my head while reading. "You were sitting on my chest, Dean." And see the bitch face that goes with that line ;)

[caffienekitty]

They do tend to behave like children sometimes. :-)

[caffienekitty]

Hehe. Happy I could uncrap your day? :-)

[caffienekitty]

He argues well. :-)

[caffienekitty]

Thanks!

[caffienekitty]

I think it's kind of a Canadian thing. They don't pop up in my playlist too often, but I do listen to them. (And Moxy Fruvous, among other things.)

[caffienekitty]

Whipped cream makes wonderful pie insulation. :-) I think all brother-in-laws must share the same traits; it's the kind of argument my brother-in-law would put forward too. :-)

[caffienekitty]

Hee! Thanks!

[caffienekitty]

The show would have to be two hours long each time to fit in all the little day to day brotherly snarkery that doesn't make the screen. Not that that would be a bad thing :-)

[caffienekitty]

Thank you! I'm very glad when the voices work. :-)

[lovebanshee.livejournal.com]

I think it's kind of a Canadian thing.
It must be... ;) Being Canadian myself, I just love that they're from here.

They're scattered in my playlist as well. They aren't exactly songs that make you scream "omg I love this song!" and start the headbanging and dancing around-- it's just that they're so frakking hilarious! (I don't see Rhiana singing about Killer Robots From Venus or Cows With Guns, do I?)

[selinamoonfire.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't complain either. I'd love to have moments like this in the show.

[caffienekitty]

Nope. Just Umbrellas. ;-)

[erinrua.livejournal.com]

ROTFL! This sounds just like an out take from an episode. Silly boys is silly, LOL! Thanks for sharing - you got their voices absolutely spot on. :-)

[caffienekitty]

Thank you! :-D

[(Anonymous)]

"That? Is a protective insulating covering."

*Snerk* Oh yes, feel better now..lol

Hugs
Sharon

[caffienekitty]

Pie insulation is very important.

[dinalori.livejournal.com]

LOL! Oh Dean, I can so see this conversation happening.

And hey, that's the same rationalization I have for apple pie a la mode.

Crust=bread=fiber
Apples=fruit=vitamins
High fructose corn syrup=corn=vegetables
Ice cream=milk=calcium

Works for me.

Just discovered your LJ. Off to check out your other fics. :^)

~Di

[caffienekitty]

Works for me.

*nods* Exactly!

Just discovered your LJ. Off to check out your other fics. :^)

Hope you enjoy them! There's a slightly out-dated fic index pinned at the top of my main page with fics listed in series timeline order, if that helps :-)

[charis-kalos.livejournal.com]

I always thought pumpkin pie sounded DISGUSTING, because in Australia we pretty much only eat pumpkin as a vegetable. Then I finally tried pumpkin pie at a Thanksgiving dinner and realised that it tasted nothing like pumpkin. It was sweet! (That night I also tried jello salad and decided that American cuisine is bizarre. Then again, I eat kangaroo and have tried whitchety grubs, so maybe Australians can't talk.)

I really enjoyed this, but it does make me wonder how Dean stays so healthy. And how he looks that good!

[caffienekitty]

I don't think I've ever eaten pumkin except as a pie component. Squash is served as a vegetable frequently in parts of North America, but not really pumpkin as far as I know. Personally, I consider jello salad an abomination.

Every region has their odd foods. Via Quebec, we have poutine, which is french fries covered in cheese curds and gravy.