caffienekitty (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
caffienekitty) wrote2008-06-21 05:56 pm
caffienekitty) wrote2008-06-21 05:56 pm
Torchwood Reactions: 2.08-2.11
Well, it's been a miserable week, being sick was probably the most fun part. I particularly enjoyed the fevered hallucinations. Now the CityTV fall schedule news has got me into a funk.
In an effort to completely switch things up and get right out of my head for a bit, I watched some Torchwood and did some running commentary.
(I'm a little peeved because I found out a rather biggish spoiler for the finale of this season of Torchwood, and another biggish one for sometime before the finale, so knowing what I know will colour my perceptions. Anyway.)
Torchwood 2.08 - A Day in the Death
-Yah know, if I was a zombie, I'd clear the fridge out ASAP. Actually, clear out the entire kitchen, since I wouldn't be using it. Get rid of all the appliances, make it into a library or something. Keep a teapot and microwave in case anybody stops by though.
-Oooooo. Emo undead Owen. Oooo underwater thing. Ooooo.
-Ewewewewew, the girl sticking her finger in the wound is unbearably... kinky. Wait, what? *shakes head* Right. Torchwood brain. Seriously though, who sticks their fingers into a complete stranger's gaping wound in a non-medical context?
-Also, is this some implication of the 'Unhealing wound' trope from Arthurian legend and other mythological sources? Innnnnteresting. Or it could just be a zombie thing.
-"Sorry, are you an expert?"/"Sorry, are you an idiot?" Hee.
-(Hee, sorry. I'm having difficulty watching John Barrowman with a straight face. He's apparently judging some reality show here in Canada where they're picking someone to play Maria Von Trapp in a stage version of "Sound Of Music" and I think he's playing Baron Von Trapp. I caught part of it on CBC, him doing the acting section of the pre-selection whatsis with all the girls. There was one girl there that he actually had serious chemistry with, and that was pretty cool to see. It was a hoot seeing the musical theatre side of Barrowman. Now, however, I'm half-expecting Captain Jack to launch into "Edelweiss" or "Lonely Goatherd". Arg.)
-Owen, be sensible. You're a zombie. You were possessed, and you barfed a demon into the world. Of course they don't want you wandering around armed while they study you. He's certainly rocking the bitchface though. Even though he looks a bit froggy doing it. Nice jacket.
-Ooo. Owen's jealous. Aw, Ianto with the pep talk. Aw.
-Pft. The animation is nowhere close to approximating Owen's speed on the treadmill.
-"No stiffening anywhere?" *snerk*
-Oh dear. Owen the coffee boy. This is so not going to go well.
-Owen is afraid of Tintin?? Oh my god! Um. Hee. Embarrassing personal recollection time. When I was, ooo, about 7 or 8? I, um. Had an enormous crush on Tintin. Like epic. I even had a Mary-Sue character I'd pretend to be. She was French and exactly like Tintin except she was a girl, and had a cat called Midnight and her name was, heh. Cancan. What? I was seven, okay? Maybe eight. Possibly nine. Anyway, I'd forgotten all about that 'til just now. Brain flotsam.
-Ianto's hurt and horrified face when Owen posits Tintin/Snowy. Bwahahahahaah! Aw.
-What's the big yellow thing on Owen's wall?
-See, get rid of the crap you're not going to use. Though donating it to charity would be a nice idea if it's stuff that's still sealed, but whatever.
-Owen needs a hobby now. Before he goes on a murderous rampage out of boredom.
-Oh I bet the girl on the roof's a ghost.
-A year's not that long. Really.
-Finger break. Yaaaah. Owen's not coping well. Why is he reminding me so much of Dean here??
-Hahahahah. Jack's carrying a stopwatch now, is he? Hee.
-It's kinda cruel to flirt with Owen, Jack.
-Heh. Yeah. Figured it'd be some kind of problem Owen's unique undead status would be useful for.
-Um... Martha darling. His circulatory system is a solid mass by now, innit? He shouldn't bruise or bleed at all. Breakage and tearing and severed bits however should be a concern.
-Wearing all black in the dark while carrying a white t-shirt is not stealthy.
-My electrical knowledge is a bit rusty, but how does a t-shirt protect him from getting crispy-crittered? Ehn. *handwaves*
-Also not stealthy is talking to yourself out loud while breaking into someplace. *handwaves heat sensors being on while everything else is off, and motion detectors not being on too*
-Owen looks a little Jedi-in-training-ish with the hoodie and the LED flashlight.
-Bet the guy's keeping his dead wife alive.
-Heehee. Owen going up the staircase and fast-talking the security guard. Hee.
-Damn the constant running water noise in the background at the Hub.
-Oh, secret door with beeping. Aaaaand... I'm wrong! Yay! He's just saving himself.
-I kind of love the old guy who knows exactly what's going on and flirts with Tosh in absentia.
-The pulse thing is making whale noises. Odd...
-Okay. That made no sense. Owen should be better at giving artificial respiration, not incapable of it. He's obviously still making his diaphragm work, because he's talking and breathing and right now making frustrated sobby-noises, so the in-out part of breathing still works. He should be better at it because even though he's taking air in and letting it back out again, his lungs are not extracting oxygen from it, so it should be more effective because he'd be forcing unused air into the guy's lungs. Or, y'know, there's a whole arsenal of medical equipment right there, complete with O2 mask. Maybe there's a squeezy-breathy bag thing somewhere.
-Yeesh. That was cheesy. How many goodbyes is Owen gonna get. Complete with heroic throwing of self on bomb.
-...which turns out not to be a bomb. Heh. It's V-ger. I thought for a while there it might be something hatching. Of course I also thought it was something hatching that needed a dead body to pupate in and Owen was going to be getting eaten from the inside out, but I'm grim like that.
-Aw, Martha's leaving? Aw. Does she still work with Unit or... hm. I think I might be thinking of a spoiler there. *keeps pensively silent*
-Interesting in the little "Tosh talks to Ianto" scene, how she's lit with a warm golden light, and he's lit in cold fishbelly blue. Obvious lighting is obvious.
-Nifty V-ger rock. That's be a hell of a thing to have on the coffee table. And Owen conveniently has it on top of a building in downtown Cardiff, out of Torchwood lockdown, and fully activated in plain view of the city? Yeah, Torchwood's really not too worried about keeping a low profile, are they?
-And I'm wrong about the girl being a ghost. O for 2 there. Yay!
Torchwood 2.09 - Something Borrowed
-Oh this is the wedding one, isn't it.
-Ooo, trivia note for y'all. The Torchwood staircase down from the gift shop into the Hub has 105 steps. This is printed on the wall next to the big round door in the credits sequence. Not like no one's ever noticed that before, just that I've never noticed it before.
-"This thing eats people." Thanks Owen. Yeah. What's with the solo missions anyway?
-Don't they compare notes with Unit at all? All the alien menaces are immune to bullets. The Brigadier knew that in the 70's.
-Wound. Oh, yay. So she's been bitten or scratched by the alien shape-shifter zombie thing, is feeling hot and instead of reporting to medical for analysis to make sure she isn't harboring alien woolly-whatsis or going to turn and eat everyone at the reception and go all literal Bridezilla, she's out in public at her stagette, drinking. There's responsible for you.
-Bitten then. Cheers, Gwen, ya idjit.
-Ah, see, that's one thing Unit didn't know. Guns work on bullet-proof alien menaces if you're a hot bisexual immortal that can rock a trenchcoat. Don't think there were many of those in Unit during the Brig's tenure. *nods*
-"Just a scratch." Um, dude? You're bleeding through a Tensor bandage. Also, your friends are crap because they do not seem to care about this obvious lie or call you on your BS.
-Instant pregnancy! Bwahahahahahahaahahahahahaha!!!!! Oh my. This series is totally televised crack-fic. Hee. Told you you should have had that bite gone over, Gwen. Good luck with the dress!
-HAHAHAHA oh Gwen being hormonal and Jack backing down is far more amusing than it should be.
-There really was no tactful way for her to reveal the "pregnant with alien egg" thing was there. This is total crack.
-Heheheheheeheh oh my. The dress shop guy. Same sex marriage is legal in Britain, so fitting a man with a traditional wedding dress has quite likely been done. It'd be sweet, actually. :-)
-Rhys has a friend named Banana. That's adorable. I so don't want to know why he's called Banana.
-Aw. Gwen and Rhys. Aw.
-Hehehe, oh this is going to be so very fun to explain to the normals....
-Her folks call her duckling. Awwwwwww....
-Rhys's mum. Eeeeek.
-Gotta admit, this is going to be terribly cruel for them. Being told Gwen's seriously pregnant and then... She goes and has the alien egg removed and nothing. Terribly cruel.
-I cannot stop giggling. I really needed a dose of silly, I guess. Though I suspect it won't stay silly.
-Yep, there we go thinking about what happens next finally. Too bad it's too late already.
-Oh dear. The friends from the stag. Hee. Gwen really isn't thinking clearly is she?
-"You come out in spots and go soft quickly?" HA! Burn! Go Tosh!
-Of course she'll need you, Tosh, you moron. A dress like that isn't going to go on like a pull-over now is it?
-Hee! Jack and Ianto's office romance is so damn cute!
-Yep, sixteen minutes in, time for a new problem. Yay.
-Cool. For a second there I thought that the shapeshifter at the wedding might be played by Lauren Cohen. She's not, but still cool.
-Interesting biological system.
-"I was taught never to speak ill of the dead." Hee!
-Wow. Gwen's friends are idiots. "Dressing to camouflage" Pft. She was wearing the same t-shirt they were.
-Oh dear lord. This is sooooo not a good time to try and explain things to your dad. He calls you Duckling. He's gonna think you're insane. Oh yeah. Totally insane. Especially when you open your eyes wide like that, you look totally deranged.
-How in hell did they all keep straight faces while they were shooting this?
-The dueling mothers-in-law is... hee! I'm just giggling through all of this so far. I expect there might be some kind of peace between them at the end of all this, but perhaps not.
-I swear, from a certain distance, the shifter still looks like Lauren Cohen. It's the hair I think.
-Heeee! Jack stops the wedding. Haha. Cute.
-Oh come on Ianto, she's wearing a bridesmaid's dress and heels, you could have tackled her easily before she got into the chapel.
-"Gwen's Torchwood?" Heee! Oh my. Oh well, just dump a bottle of Retcon in the champagne fountain at the reception and all will be well. :-D
-Um. Owen? DO NOT LEAVE THE TARGET OF A CRAZED HUNTER ALONE WITH TWO CIVVIES YOU DUMBASS!!! Also, poke Rhys's mom, see if she bleeds black. Because, y'know, shapeshifter? Duh?
-Hehehehehe! *falls over coughing* Lordy. It's like a Shakespeare comedy with the mistaken identities. Now, of course, that Jack has stormed into the room and called Rhys's mom an ugly bitch, it will turn out she is Rhys's mom, and the shifter's outside eating the wedding party.
-"And the Lone Ranger didn't have a thing with Tonto." *snerk*
-Yay Rhys! Defend your scary mother's honor!
-Ooo! Ooo! Gun in the bouquet! Bet! Yep. That explains the bouquet earlier in the room. I wondered about that because Rhys's mom already knew about Gwen being pregnant so there was no point in trying to hide the pregnancy behind the bouquet. I love there was no hint of that.
-"Cold as ice and packing an automatic." If I was a mom and had a daughter that hunted violent aliens for a living, yeah. That's the kind of daughter I'd want. Or one with epic psi-powers. I'm flexible.
-And again! OWEN YOU IDIOT! Do not leave the target alone, especially if it's a shape-shifter after them. Yes, Gwen kicks ass. But still, MORON! *smacks Owen in the forehead*
-And Gwen's an idiot too if she doesn't examine anyone and anything coming through that door, or the window, or anywhere, for a hint of bleeding black blood. Especially one wearing a giant wound-concealing coat. *smacks Gwen in the forehead too*
-*smacks Gwen extra hard* Idiot. Told ya.
-HEADBUTT!!!! Yeah!!! :-D
-Okay, and Owen is an idiot again. Does Torchwood not have any kind of intelligence, common sense or basic survival instinct testing? Or are those qualities considered detrimental?
-Oh. Oh Owen. Still, if you had any ammo left, right then would have been an awesome time to use it.
-Hee! Men In Black Mega-gun component assembly time! Bring on the Series 4 Deatomizers!
-"Owen showed me how to use it." Oh. Bloody. Yay.
-Only one side of that barn door is actually blocked by anything, I think... also, I could get through doors wiggling like that in about 5 seconds. I know this from experience.
-HAAAA!!! CHAINSAW!!!! YEAH!!! GO RHYS!!!! \o/ *snerk*
-Hahahaha! And the chainsaw stops. This is why you do not stop to speechify at the monster, Rhys. No matter how cool it is. *nods*
-Evil Dead reference! Oh, I really wish I'd seen a certain person's reaction to that during Torchfest. :-)
-They are gonna need a metric assload of Retcon to clear all this up.
-Aw, and Ianto dances in public with Jack. Good boy. It's about time.
-Yeah. Looks about like the level of clean-up needed on the last wedding I went to. Less puking though. :-P
Torchwood 2.10 - From Out of the Rain
-Hm. Last thing I recall about rain is Jack going on about "eeestrogen in the rain" in the first episode.
-Oh dear lord, clowns and circuses. This does not bode well. Wasn't there a Ray Bradbury story were the circus came to town and sucked the life force out of the kids? "Something Wicked This Way Comes?" Yeah. Also, clowns are evil.
-Hey, it's the Brigadoon Circus! Cool!
-...okay... I thought for a second it was Ianto running the film reels, but it isn't...
-Oh yeah. The film rewinding itself. That's awesomely creepy!
-"Travelling circus." In downtown Cardiff. That you can hear one hundred and five steps underground in a cement bunker. Sure, Jack. *pats*
-Ooo, the Electro is a cool building.
-Why exactly is the film being wound and cut in a warehouse way the hell and gone away from the cinema, and not, say, in the theatre building somewhere?
-Ooo! Look! Babylon 5! on the screen behind Tosh. Sort of. Did I already say that once? I forget.
-Neat commentary on cinema versus travelling shows. Aw, Ianto woobie-face.
-Eeeeyah. Ringmaster and the creepy hair-water-licking acrobat coming out of the dark. Yikes.
-Ooo! Silvery particles, like old film silver emulsion stuff. I think. Made me think of old film. Very cool.
-Okay, lady in cafe is an idiot too. You do not open the door to the ringmaster-looking freak banging on your door at obscene o'clock at night. You say through the door we're closed, point at the sign, and you go do things in the back for a while where you are near the phone and can still see what the weirdos are doing. This is also why you do the dining room clean up first, then go do stuff in the back where they can't see you.
-The girl should be on a bloody respirator. Just because she seems to be okay without breathing does not mean the hospital will not try to force her to breathe anyway.
-"Some things never change." Hee.
-The two people missing from the film when they were the main part of the frame? Yeah. So easy to miss.
-"Ooh, it that what you're calling it these days?" *snerk*
-Oh, neat. The flashback scene going from unsaturated to supersaturated as it aproaches the tents. That's cool.
-The circus people are creeeeeeeepy.
-Again, why is the guy cutting the film together in an old abandoned warehouse? And why is there a bathtub and running water in an abandoned warehouse? Oh! He lives there... Uh. Okay, sure.
-Nice to see Ianto in something other than that pink shirt and tie. I mean it's okay, but I was starting to wonder if that was all he had.
-"Thought she'd drowned." Her face was out of the water. You surprised a creepy lady taking a bath in your apartment. Get it right. Also, your apartment SUCKS. And given some of the places I've lived, that's saying something. Where do you sleep, dude? The bathtub?
-*blink* Oookay! Yeah. Film the film people and overexpose them.... I think I followed that... I have no idea what's behind all of it yet, but at least there's a pseudo-science way of making it stop. Sure. Of course, if they're made of cellulose film, they should burn like a hot damn too, but fire's a little unsciency for Torchwood... Wasn't the 'people on film' thing also done in an episode of... whassit called. Ages ago. Sapphire and Steel? I think I saw it once at a convention.
-Looks like being dead's the best thing that happened to Owen in terms of vulnerability to monsters.
-Yoink! Yay Ianto!
-Why is this guy not just draining everyone he touches? Maybe it takes time or something.
-Oooo Ianto screams nice. *koff* I mean very authentically. Ahem.
-Awwwww. Woobie Ianto. Awww.
-Hi kid. Welcome back to life. Your entire family is dead by the way. Seeya!
-It's always the cutest little moppet that gets saved too. Why can't it ever be the cranky middle-aged person with bad teeth and hair like a diseased spider plant. Who of course clings and grins just like the little moppets do. Just for variety.
Torchwood 2.11 - Adrift
-Hm. I think someone said I'd love this one or hate this one. Nope, just said it was too depressing. Okey dokey, fair warning then.
-"You've got a face like a slapped arse." Hahaha! I don't think I've heard that exact turn of phrase before! That's awesome.
-This is all too cool to do a running comment on. Of course there's stuff going the other way through the rift. This is way cool.
-Rhys is gonna get caught in a Rift spike, isn't he? Or something.
-I like Rhys a lot better now that he has a personality and isn't just a token impediment like season 1.
-Heh. Oh dear. I've heard about this greenhouse. *ahem* Hee! Aw. *snerk*
-"Always room for one more" BWAH! Oh Jack.
-She's going to find a lot of grave markers for missing people on that island isn't she. Because there's no way to get people back.
-Heh. Lighthouse. Searchlight. Cute, show.
-The nurse... didn't touch that door to open it. That was a little creepy, even though entirely normal with an automated door.
-Aw. Jack rescued them all. Or several of them, anyway. And they've all gone nuts. Heh. Big surprise there.
-"Can you bring her here?" Yeah, no. Not a good idea. Watching mom go nuts and deny who you are to your face will not help you or her.
-"If you'd lost someone, wouldn't you want to know?" Oh yes. There's a loaded question to ask Jack.
-He's killed himself, hasn't he? The 'imminent badness' music rumbles are starting.
-Ooo. A 20 hour scream. Ouch. Yeah. Not good.
-Aaaaand another case for Retcon? Oh come on, Retcon the poor woman. Or not. She is moving on, I guess. Yike. Yeah.
So. That's all the Torchwood I currently have access to. I have not seen Torchwood 2.12 or 2.13, so please do not spoil me for them. ;-)
In an effort to completely switch things up and get right out of my head for a bit, I watched some Torchwood and did some running commentary.
(I'm a little peeved because I found out a rather biggish spoiler for the finale of this season of Torchwood, and another biggish one for sometime before the finale, so knowing what I know will colour my perceptions. Anyway.)
Torchwood 2.08 - A Day in the Death
-Yah know, if I was a zombie, I'd clear the fridge out ASAP. Actually, clear out the entire kitchen, since I wouldn't be using it. Get rid of all the appliances, make it into a library or something. Keep a teapot and microwave in case anybody stops by though.
-Oooooo. Emo undead Owen. Oooo underwater thing. Ooooo.
-Ewewewewew, the girl sticking her finger in the wound is unbearably... kinky. Wait, what? *shakes head* Right. Torchwood brain. Seriously though, who sticks their fingers into a complete stranger's gaping wound in a non-medical context?
-Also, is this some implication of the 'Unhealing wound' trope from Arthurian legend and other mythological sources? Innnnnteresting. Or it could just be a zombie thing.
-"Sorry, are you an expert?"/"Sorry, are you an idiot?" Hee.
-(Hee, sorry. I'm having difficulty watching John Barrowman with a straight face. He's apparently judging some reality show here in Canada where they're picking someone to play Maria Von Trapp in a stage version of "Sound Of Music" and I think he's playing Baron Von Trapp. I caught part of it on CBC, him doing the acting section of the pre-selection whatsis with all the girls. There was one girl there that he actually had serious chemistry with, and that was pretty cool to see. It was a hoot seeing the musical theatre side of Barrowman. Now, however, I'm half-expecting Captain Jack to launch into "Edelweiss" or "Lonely Goatherd". Arg.)
-Owen, be sensible. You're a zombie. You were possessed, and you barfed a demon into the world. Of course they don't want you wandering around armed while they study you. He's certainly rocking the bitchface though. Even though he looks a bit froggy doing it. Nice jacket.
-Ooo. Owen's jealous. Aw, Ianto with the pep talk. Aw.
-Pft. The animation is nowhere close to approximating Owen's speed on the treadmill.
-"No stiffening anywhere?" *snerk*
-Oh dear. Owen the coffee boy. This is so not going to go well.
-Owen is afraid of Tintin?? Oh my god! Um. Hee. Embarrassing personal recollection time. When I was, ooo, about 7 or 8? I, um. Had an enormous crush on Tintin. Like epic. I even had a Mary-Sue character I'd pretend to be. She was French and exactly like Tintin except she was a girl, and had a cat called Midnight and her name was, heh. Cancan. What? I was seven, okay? Maybe eight. Possibly nine. Anyway, I'd forgotten all about that 'til just now. Brain flotsam.
-Ianto's hurt and horrified face when Owen posits Tintin/Snowy. Bwahahahahaah! Aw.
-What's the big yellow thing on Owen's wall?
-See, get rid of the crap you're not going to use. Though donating it to charity would be a nice idea if it's stuff that's still sealed, but whatever.
-Owen needs a hobby now. Before he goes on a murderous rampage out of boredom.
-Oh I bet the girl on the roof's a ghost.
-A year's not that long. Really.
-Finger break. Yaaaah. Owen's not coping well. Why is he reminding me so much of Dean here??
-Hahahahah. Jack's carrying a stopwatch now, is he? Hee.
-It's kinda cruel to flirt with Owen, Jack.
-Heh. Yeah. Figured it'd be some kind of problem Owen's unique undead status would be useful for.
-Um... Martha darling. His circulatory system is a solid mass by now, innit? He shouldn't bruise or bleed at all. Breakage and tearing and severed bits however should be a concern.
-Wearing all black in the dark while carrying a white t-shirt is not stealthy.
-My electrical knowledge is a bit rusty, but how does a t-shirt protect him from getting crispy-crittered? Ehn. *handwaves*
-Also not stealthy is talking to yourself out loud while breaking into someplace. *handwaves heat sensors being on while everything else is off, and motion detectors not being on too*
-Owen looks a little Jedi-in-training-ish with the hoodie and the LED flashlight.
-Bet the guy's keeping his dead wife alive.
-Heehee. Owen going up the staircase and fast-talking the security guard. Hee.
-Damn the constant running water noise in the background at the Hub.
-Oh, secret door with beeping. Aaaaand... I'm wrong! Yay! He's just saving himself.
-I kind of love the old guy who knows exactly what's going on and flirts with Tosh in absentia.
-The pulse thing is making whale noises. Odd...
-Okay. That made no sense. Owen should be better at giving artificial respiration, not incapable of it. He's obviously still making his diaphragm work, because he's talking and breathing and right now making frustrated sobby-noises, so the in-out part of breathing still works. He should be better at it because even though he's taking air in and letting it back out again, his lungs are not extracting oxygen from it, so it should be more effective because he'd be forcing unused air into the guy's lungs. Or, y'know, there's a whole arsenal of medical equipment right there, complete with O2 mask. Maybe there's a squeezy-breathy bag thing somewhere.
-Yeesh. That was cheesy. How many goodbyes is Owen gonna get. Complete with heroic throwing of self on bomb.
-...which turns out not to be a bomb. Heh. It's V-ger. I thought for a while there it might be something hatching. Of course I also thought it was something hatching that needed a dead body to pupate in and Owen was going to be getting eaten from the inside out, but I'm grim like that.
-Aw, Martha's leaving? Aw. Does she still work with Unit or... hm. I think I might be thinking of a spoiler there. *keeps pensively silent*
-Interesting in the little "Tosh talks to Ianto" scene, how she's lit with a warm golden light, and he's lit in cold fishbelly blue. Obvious lighting is obvious.
-Nifty V-ger rock. That's be a hell of a thing to have on the coffee table. And Owen conveniently has it on top of a building in downtown Cardiff, out of Torchwood lockdown, and fully activated in plain view of the city? Yeah, Torchwood's really not too worried about keeping a low profile, are they?
-And I'm wrong about the girl being a ghost. O for 2 there. Yay!
Torchwood 2.09 - Something Borrowed
-Oh this is the wedding one, isn't it.
-Ooo, trivia note for y'all. The Torchwood staircase down from the gift shop into the Hub has 105 steps. This is printed on the wall next to the big round door in the credits sequence. Not like no one's ever noticed that before, just that I've never noticed it before.
-"This thing eats people." Thanks Owen. Yeah. What's with the solo missions anyway?
-Don't they compare notes with Unit at all? All the alien menaces are immune to bullets. The Brigadier knew that in the 70's.
-Wound. Oh, yay. So she's been bitten or scratched by the alien shape-shifter zombie thing, is feeling hot and instead of reporting to medical for analysis to make sure she isn't harboring alien woolly-whatsis or going to turn and eat everyone at the reception and go all literal Bridezilla, she's out in public at her stagette, drinking. There's responsible for you.
-Bitten then. Cheers, Gwen, ya idjit.
-Ah, see, that's one thing Unit didn't know. Guns work on bullet-proof alien menaces if you're a hot bisexual immortal that can rock a trenchcoat. Don't think there were many of those in Unit during the Brig's tenure. *nods*
-"Just a scratch." Um, dude? You're bleeding through a Tensor bandage. Also, your friends are crap because they do not seem to care about this obvious lie or call you on your BS.
-Instant pregnancy! Bwahahahahahahaahahahahahaha!!!!! Oh my. This series is totally televised crack-fic. Hee. Told you you should have had that bite gone over, Gwen. Good luck with the dress!
-HAHAHAHA oh Gwen being hormonal and Jack backing down is far more amusing than it should be.
-There really was no tactful way for her to reveal the "pregnant with alien egg" thing was there. This is total crack.
-Heheheheheeheh oh my. The dress shop guy. Same sex marriage is legal in Britain, so fitting a man with a traditional wedding dress has quite likely been done. It'd be sweet, actually. :-)
-Rhys has a friend named Banana. That's adorable. I so don't want to know why he's called Banana.
-Aw. Gwen and Rhys. Aw.
-Hehehe, oh this is going to be so very fun to explain to the normals....
-Her folks call her duckling. Awwwwwww....
-Rhys's mum. Eeeeek.
-Gotta admit, this is going to be terribly cruel for them. Being told Gwen's seriously pregnant and then... She goes and has the alien egg removed and nothing. Terribly cruel.
-I cannot stop giggling. I really needed a dose of silly, I guess. Though I suspect it won't stay silly.
-Yep, there we go thinking about what happens next finally. Too bad it's too late already.
-Oh dear. The friends from the stag. Hee. Gwen really isn't thinking clearly is she?
-"You come out in spots and go soft quickly?" HA! Burn! Go Tosh!
-Of course she'll need you, Tosh, you moron. A dress like that isn't going to go on like a pull-over now is it?
-Hee! Jack and Ianto's office romance is so damn cute!
-Yep, sixteen minutes in, time for a new problem. Yay.
-Cool. For a second there I thought that the shapeshifter at the wedding might be played by Lauren Cohen. She's not, but still cool.
-Interesting biological system.
-"I was taught never to speak ill of the dead." Hee!
-Wow. Gwen's friends are idiots. "Dressing to camouflage" Pft. She was wearing the same t-shirt they were.
-Oh dear lord. This is sooooo not a good time to try and explain things to your dad. He calls you Duckling. He's gonna think you're insane. Oh yeah. Totally insane. Especially when you open your eyes wide like that, you look totally deranged.
-How in hell did they all keep straight faces while they were shooting this?
-The dueling mothers-in-law is... hee! I'm just giggling through all of this so far. I expect there might be some kind of peace between them at the end of all this, but perhaps not.
-I swear, from a certain distance, the shifter still looks like Lauren Cohen. It's the hair I think.
-Heeee! Jack stops the wedding. Haha. Cute.
-Oh come on Ianto, she's wearing a bridesmaid's dress and heels, you could have tackled her easily before she got into the chapel.
-"Gwen's Torchwood?" Heee! Oh my. Oh well, just dump a bottle of Retcon in the champagne fountain at the reception and all will be well. :-D
-Um. Owen? DO NOT LEAVE THE TARGET OF A CRAZED HUNTER ALONE WITH TWO CIVVIES YOU DUMBASS!!! Also, poke Rhys's mom, see if she bleeds black. Because, y'know, shapeshifter? Duh?
-Hehehehehe! *falls over coughing* Lordy. It's like a Shakespeare comedy with the mistaken identities. Now, of course, that Jack has stormed into the room and called Rhys's mom an ugly bitch, it will turn out she is Rhys's mom, and the shifter's outside eating the wedding party.
-"And the Lone Ranger didn't have a thing with Tonto." *snerk*
-Yay Rhys! Defend your scary mother's honor!
-Ooo! Ooo! Gun in the bouquet! Bet! Yep. That explains the bouquet earlier in the room. I wondered about that because Rhys's mom already knew about Gwen being pregnant so there was no point in trying to hide the pregnancy behind the bouquet. I love there was no hint of that.
-"Cold as ice and packing an automatic." If I was a mom and had a daughter that hunted violent aliens for a living, yeah. That's the kind of daughter I'd want. Or one with epic psi-powers. I'm flexible.
-And again! OWEN YOU IDIOT! Do not leave the target alone, especially if it's a shape-shifter after them. Yes, Gwen kicks ass. But still, MORON! *smacks Owen in the forehead*
-And Gwen's an idiot too if she doesn't examine anyone and anything coming through that door, or the window, or anywhere, for a hint of bleeding black blood. Especially one wearing a giant wound-concealing coat. *smacks Gwen in the forehead too*
-*smacks Gwen extra hard* Idiot. Told ya.
-HEADBUTT!!!! Yeah!!! :-D
-Okay, and Owen is an idiot again. Does Torchwood not have any kind of intelligence, common sense or basic survival instinct testing? Or are those qualities considered detrimental?
-Oh. Oh Owen. Still, if you had any ammo left, right then would have been an awesome time to use it.
-Hee! Men In Black Mega-gun component assembly time! Bring on the Series 4 Deatomizers!
-"Owen showed me how to use it." Oh. Bloody. Yay.
-Only one side of that barn door is actually blocked by anything, I think... also, I could get through doors wiggling like that in about 5 seconds. I know this from experience.
-HAAAA!!! CHAINSAW!!!! YEAH!!! GO RHYS!!!! \o/ *snerk*
-Hahahaha! And the chainsaw stops. This is why you do not stop to speechify at the monster, Rhys. No matter how cool it is. *nods*
-Evil Dead reference! Oh, I really wish I'd seen a certain person's reaction to that during Torchfest. :-)
-They are gonna need a metric assload of Retcon to clear all this up.
-Aw, and Ianto dances in public with Jack. Good boy. It's about time.
-Yeah. Looks about like the level of clean-up needed on the last wedding I went to. Less puking though. :-P
Torchwood 2.10 - From Out of the Rain
-Hm. Last thing I recall about rain is Jack going on about "eeestrogen in the rain" in the first episode.
-Oh dear lord, clowns and circuses. This does not bode well. Wasn't there a Ray Bradbury story were the circus came to town and sucked the life force out of the kids? "Something Wicked This Way Comes?" Yeah. Also, clowns are evil.
-Hey, it's the Brigadoon Circus! Cool!
-...okay... I thought for a second it was Ianto running the film reels, but it isn't...
-Oh yeah. The film rewinding itself. That's awesomely creepy!
-"Travelling circus." In downtown Cardiff. That you can hear one hundred and five steps underground in a cement bunker. Sure, Jack. *pats*
-Ooo, the Electro is a cool building.
-Why exactly is the film being wound and cut in a warehouse way the hell and gone away from the cinema, and not, say, in the theatre building somewhere?
-Ooo! Look! Babylon 5! on the screen behind Tosh. Sort of. Did I already say that once? I forget.
-Neat commentary on cinema versus travelling shows. Aw, Ianto woobie-face.
-Eeeeyah. Ringmaster and the creepy hair-water-licking acrobat coming out of the dark. Yikes.
-Ooo! Silvery particles, like old film silver emulsion stuff. I think. Made me think of old film. Very cool.
-Okay, lady in cafe is an idiot too. You do not open the door to the ringmaster-looking freak banging on your door at obscene o'clock at night. You say through the door we're closed, point at the sign, and you go do things in the back for a while where you are near the phone and can still see what the weirdos are doing. This is also why you do the dining room clean up first, then go do stuff in the back where they can't see you.
-The girl should be on a bloody respirator. Just because she seems to be okay without breathing does not mean the hospital will not try to force her to breathe anyway.
-"Some things never change." Hee.
-The two people missing from the film when they were the main part of the frame? Yeah. So easy to miss.
-"Ooh, it that what you're calling it these days?" *snerk*
-Oh, neat. The flashback scene going from unsaturated to supersaturated as it aproaches the tents. That's cool.
-The circus people are creeeeeeeepy.
-Again, why is the guy cutting the film together in an old abandoned warehouse? And why is there a bathtub and running water in an abandoned warehouse? Oh! He lives there... Uh. Okay, sure.
-Nice to see Ianto in something other than that pink shirt and tie. I mean it's okay, but I was starting to wonder if that was all he had.
-"Thought she'd drowned." Her face was out of the water. You surprised a creepy lady taking a bath in your apartment. Get it right. Also, your apartment SUCKS. And given some of the places I've lived, that's saying something. Where do you sleep, dude? The bathtub?
-*blink* Oookay! Yeah. Film the film people and overexpose them.... I think I followed that... I have no idea what's behind all of it yet, but at least there's a pseudo-science way of making it stop. Sure. Of course, if they're made of cellulose film, they should burn like a hot damn too, but fire's a little unsciency for Torchwood... Wasn't the 'people on film' thing also done in an episode of... whassit called. Ages ago. Sapphire and Steel? I think I saw it once at a convention.
-Looks like being dead's the best thing that happened to Owen in terms of vulnerability to monsters.
-Yoink! Yay Ianto!
-Why is this guy not just draining everyone he touches? Maybe it takes time or something.
-Oooo Ianto screams nice. *koff* I mean very authentically. Ahem.
-Awwwww. Woobie Ianto. Awww.
-Hi kid. Welcome back to life. Your entire family is dead by the way. Seeya!
-It's always the cutest little moppet that gets saved too. Why can't it ever be the cranky middle-aged person with bad teeth and hair like a diseased spider plant. Who of course clings and grins just like the little moppets do. Just for variety.
Torchwood 2.11 - Adrift
-Hm. I think someone said I'd love this one or hate this one. Nope, just said it was too depressing. Okey dokey, fair warning then.
-"You've got a face like a slapped arse." Hahaha! I don't think I've heard that exact turn of phrase before! That's awesome.
-This is all too cool to do a running comment on. Of course there's stuff going the other way through the rift. This is way cool.
-Rhys is gonna get caught in a Rift spike, isn't he? Or something.
-I like Rhys a lot better now that he has a personality and isn't just a token impediment like season 1.
-Heh. Oh dear. I've heard about this greenhouse. *ahem* Hee! Aw. *snerk*
-"Always room for one more" BWAH! Oh Jack.
-She's going to find a lot of grave markers for missing people on that island isn't she. Because there's no way to get people back.
-Heh. Lighthouse. Searchlight. Cute, show.
-The nurse... didn't touch that door to open it. That was a little creepy, even though entirely normal with an automated door.
-Aw. Jack rescued them all. Or several of them, anyway. And they've all gone nuts. Heh. Big surprise there.
-"Can you bring her here?" Yeah, no. Not a good idea. Watching mom go nuts and deny who you are to your face will not help you or her.
-"If you'd lost someone, wouldn't you want to know?" Oh yes. There's a loaded question to ask Jack.
-He's killed himself, hasn't he? The 'imminent badness' music rumbles are starting.
-Ooo. A 20 hour scream. Ouch. Yeah. Not good.
-Aaaaand another case for Retcon? Oh come on, Retcon the poor woman. Or not. She is moving on, I guess. Yike. Yeah.
So. That's all the Torchwood I currently have access to. I have not seen Torchwood 2.12 or 2.13, so please do not spoil me for them. ;-)