SPN Fanfic: The Effanineffable Secret

[caffienekitty]

Title: The Effanineffable Secret
Characters: Sam, Dean
Classification: GEN, AU, alternate scene, conversation, crack
Rating: GEN, G.
Warnings: Um... None really. General second season spoilerishness. (Includes a small graphic.)
Word Count:322 words
Disclaimer: I own nothing, and I am on nothing.
Summary:What if John had told Dean an entirely different secret?
A/N:Short AU Crack Conversation for the spn_crackfic REVERSAL Challenge. Take your favourite angsty scene/episode from the series (anything, whether it's Devil's trap, In My Time of Dying or Born Under a Bad Sign) and make it cracktastic. While I wouldn't call this my favourite angsty scene, it's just begging for reversal. There's a graphic for this lunacy (generated on one of those daft "make your own avatar" sites) at the end.

Conversations
by CaffieneKitty

The Effanineffable Secret
-
Timeframe:
At the lake shore in the beginning of "Hunted". AU. Craaaaaaack.
-

"Before Dad died he... he told me something. Something about you."

"What? Dean, what did he tell you."

"He said... He told me you're... you're..."

"What? Evil? Half-demon? Going to lead an army of hellspawn or something? What?!"

"He told me... you're a were-kitten, Sammy."

"I knew it! I knew I was destined to... wait a minute. A what??"

"A were-kitten. I couldn't believe it either."

"But... what? When?"

"I've been thinking about it since Dad told me, and I guess it must have been ever since you were nine."

"Since I was nine? How?"

"That thing in your closet cursed you. See, I thought the kitten stuff was just a one-time curse, but I guess it stuck around."

"You've seen this happen?"

"Yeah, you were a kitten for most of a month afterward. Ginger tabby. Cute as hell. Dad did some ritual thing, though and I thought it was all over and done with a long time ago."

"Buh... But that makes no sense. I don't remember ever turning into a kitten, Dean! I would have noticed..."

"No, I wish it wasn't true, Sammy, but it is. Dad told me he's been secretly doing a transformation suppression ritual on you every month since you got cursed."

"...So, when he came to see me without me knowing at Stanford, he was-"

"-hanging in the ivy outside your window, burning catnip leaves and sacrificing a can of tuna. Or something."

"Or something?"

"Yeah. Dad didn't tell me the exact instructions for the ritual, just that it was in his journal."

"Dean, we've spent over a year going through Dad's journal looking for stuff and not once have we seen any kind of... were-kitten suppression ritual."

"Well, we weren't exactly looking for it were we?"

"Uh... Well, no."

"Anyway, we better figure it out quick, just in case you get an urge to, I dunno, sleep with a werewolf some day."

"What? Why would I do something like that?"

"I have no idea. C'mon. Finish your beer, we've gotta get you a litter box before nightfall."

- - -
(that's all... sort of.)

Now, here's that graphic I mentioned...




Dean Winchester and Sammy the Were-kitten, crica 1992
generated using elouai's doll maker 3

Comments

[thelonejuliet.livejournal.com]

Hehe. That is awesome. I love it! Lol

[caffienekitty]

That is the cutest icon! Thanks for commenting!

[mitchsgirl.livejournal.com]

Oh my freaking God. And I have ginger tabbies named Sam & Dean.

ROFL!!!

[caffienekitty]

Hee! That's so cool! :-D

[longhairedlady.livejournal.com]

Amazing! I love the picture of Dean and the were kitten! Also, the ritual:

"-hanging in the ivy outside your window, burning catnip leaves and sacrificing a can of tuna. Or something."

Is the best thing ever. Thanks so much for doing this challenge, ,loving it!

[caffienekitty]

Thanks for announcing it on your page! I never would have heard of the challenge otherwise!

[longhairedlady.livejournal.com]

OOH, yay, you heard about it from me! I assumed you must have already known, now I know you are just SO TALENTED you can write really fast! Glad to know my shamless pimping was appreciated *g*

[caffienekitty]

Heh, yep, I saw it on your LJ. I wouldn't take it as a sign of me writing fast, though. I've had the graphic since late March and most of the scene scrawled out in my fic < scary voice > notebook o'doom < / scary voice > since shortly after that, but between life and work and the thirty other things in varying stages of development, it kind of got put aside. It suited the challenge so well, I figured it was a sign, I tell you a sign, that the world needed to know about Sammy the were-kitten.

*koff* So yeah. Not really a fast writer, me. I'm still working on and off on a huge AU that springs off from the season one finale, and has been (quite scarily) Kripke'd in several ways since. But I'm still working on it. It's one of the ones off to the side.

[mariana-oconnor.livejournal.com]

Lol! That was awesome. I never saw it coming - seriously- werekitten!? You know he'd be the cutest thing ever as a cat... until someone did something to Dean then he'd go all cool and ninja with his claws out.

I want a Sam-kitty dammit!

[caffienekitty]

Yep, he'd be a claw-waving, snarling, ball of furious ginger fluff. Evil things wouldn't know what hit them! :-D

[eesia.livejournal.com]

Heheheheh
a litter box
*giggles*
Oh dear...
Thank you for that!

[caffienekitty]

You're welcome! :-)

[astrothsknot.livejournal.com]

*giggles*

[caffienekitty]

*grins*

[culturegeek76.livejournal.com]

See - this is a scene that should really be included on the gagreel.
Really.

[caffienekitty]

What I'd like to see on the gag reel is...


(cover your eyes if you haven't seen the final two episodes and don't want to be spoiled for something really major...)






...is 'dead' Sammy coming back to life at the end of "All Hell Breaks Loose Part 1" and tickling the daylights out of Dean. Because his hands are in perfect position for a serious tickle-ambush just then....

[dragonwaggin.livejournal.com]

Here from the newsletter. Loved the last line, laughed so hard the dog woke up and gave me the evil-eye. LOL

[caffienekitty]

Ah, yes. Most dogs have a notable aversion to were-kittens. *nods sagely*

[jacedesbff.livejournal.com]

ROFL!!!

This may be on the funniest things I have ever read in fandom.

HEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!!!!!

were-kitten suppression ritual

Can we see one on the show? Purty please? With sugar on tops? And catnip?

[caffienekitty]

Thank you! Heh, it'd be truly bizarre to see that on the show. Although I wish I could film the little image in my head of John hanging onto a trellis at Stanford in the middle of the night and doing weird things with catnip.

[girlfan1979.livejournal.com]

Absolutely fab, the whole thing.

The ritual:

"-hanging in the ivy outside your window, burning catnip leaves and sacrificing a can of tuna. Or something."

freakin' Priceless!

[caffienekitty]

Thanks!

[janglyjewels.livejournal.com]

This is hilarious and adorable! I've linked to it at http://community.livejournal.com/bobbyslibrary/ .

[caffienekitty]

Thanks for letting me know! :-)

[nativestar.livejournal.com]

Lovely and oh so funny. Thanks for sharing.

This was recced at spn_epific so I'll be adding it to the master fic list there if you don't object.

[caffienekitty]

Ha! Awesome! Thank you! :-)

[credulesque.livejournal.com]

PAHAHAHA

This one was priceless, omg *wipes away tear*

=D

[caffienekitty]

Thanks! Sam makes a cute kitten. :-)