caffienekitty | SPN ...thing: Bobby's Cooking Tips for Idjits

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SPN ...thing: Bobby's Cooking Tips for Idjits

Title:Bobby's Cooking Tips for Idjits
Format: Kind of a lame advice list with vaguely related pictures. Gen, PG
Warnings: None? Might be grossish? *shrug* Contains caps from 4.14.
Disclaimer:Bobby's not mine.
Summary: Bobby offers basic culinary advice to hunters.
A/N: Very random. Screencaps from

marishna and Supernatural.tv

Bobby's Cooking Tips for Idjits

When you're out hunting, sometimes dinner-time ain't as simple as pulling up at a drive-through window. Here's a couple tips on how not to get killed by your dinner or dinner companions.

Know who you're sitting at a table with. Even if you think you do know who you're sitting at a table with, assume nothing.

Always use a cast iron frying pan. If what you're aimin' to cook starts sizzling before the heat's turned on, it's too evil. Marinate with Holy Water and add more salt.

Always water the drinks.

Make sure you get your seasonings out of the correct spice drawer. A wormwood and peyote seasoned casserole might make for some mighty interesting dinner conversation, but the flashbacks later are a real bitch.

Always look at what you're eating before you take a big bite out of it. Especially if you're up against a Trickster, a witch, or a bored Winchester.

In a pinch, you can cook things on an engine. Not in an engine, on an engine. Any one of you idjits comes to me and tries to blame me for a radiator full of soup, I'm chargin' you triple on the replacement costs.

You just can't beat a good barbeque.

Never trust a sausage. You never know what really went into 'em.

Never trust a taco, either.

When in doubt, add more salt. When not in doubt, add more salt. Just add more salt. Hypertension's a pain in the ass, but it won't kill ya near as fast as a zombie-chicken.

It's a hard life and hard things happen to good people. Sometimes you can't do squat to help someone in a real bad spot or repair a person's life. Sometimes all you can do is try and keep the poor bastard fed.

- - -

(that's all I got.)

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I love you. I'm just sayin'. *adores*

Aw *smishes you*

Oh, this is great! Made me giggle more than once. Although the last line kinda tugged at my heart a little.

Glad yu enjoyed it. And I think heart-tugging is a fairly integral part of the show.

Hee, this is awesome. The last line is all about Bobby and his big heart.

Yep. He's rough and ornery on the outside, but he's a big ol' barrel of mush on the inside when the situation calls for it.

Any one of you idjits comes to me and tries to blame me for a radiator full of soup, I'm chargin' you triple on the replacement costs. Perfect Bobby line! This was great fun.

Thanks! :-D

HAHAha! Awesome! Really Awesome!

Thank you!

Ah yes, the Zombie Chicken Incident of '02. Before that day, no one could remember John Winchester's girlish shriek of surprise. And after it, no one would ever forgot.

Heeeeee! Absolutely. XD

(no subject)

classicinsanity.livejournal.com - 2010-03-02 22:01 (UTC) - Expand

LOLOL.

*grins*

Here Via Spn_Glee

...........You own my life. As does Bobby. I'm taking bets on who's going to win it.

*Flail*

*returns your life to you, wrapped in a pretty bow*

This got recced? Cool! :-D

So delightful! This is my only food-related icon, but I'll assume that Remy loves this story as much as he loves spices.

Haven't seen the movie, but I would guess so. Thanks! :-D

That is priceless. XD

Thank you!

This is so many levels of brilliant. I love it!

Thanks!

Dear Mr. Singer:

After having read your recently published Cooking Tips for Idjits I would like to seek your advice:

What, in your opinion, is the best comfort food to serve to a hunter who has recently had a (very) near death experience? As you say, the best I can do is keep him fed, and though he's pretty partial to anything I put on the table, this has proven problematic, as I really do mean "anything." (I suspect he returned from his (very) near experience not quite right, if you know what I mean.)

As an aside, I do have a nice collection of cast iron cookware, of which I am very fond.

Thank you for your help in this matter.

Sincerely,
Candi Bahr

Dear Miss Bahr,

Well, depends on the hunter, mainly. Any kind of food from his childhood should do okay, but sometimes they just won't eat. That's usually a danger sign; he either came back wrong or is about to do something reckless and bone-stupid with his life. Check him for possession or zombification, and if that's not it then for the love of God, keep him away from crossroads.

You can't go wrong with cast-iron cookware. Aside from being iron, they can be used to bash something that needs bashing and still fry an egg.

Good luck with your fella, Miss Bahr.

Yours,
B. Singer

*giggles

Here via

spn_glee, and I've got to say, this is absolutely brilliant! Bobby's like Martha Stewart for the hunting set.

Never trust a sausage. You never know what really went into 'em.
*giggles*

Well, it's true! :-)

Ha! Excellent!

Thanks!

This is hilarious! Thanks. I needed the laugh.

*still chortling about a radiator full of soup*

Happy to have provided a laugh, and thank you for the rec! :-D

Words to live by. Thanks!

Absolutely! Glad you liked it!

never trust a sausage! or a taco! heee. the radiator full of soup cracked me up. also the zombie chicken. and watering the drinks. these are so... bobby, i love it.

Thanks!

Wonderful and inspired. :)

Thank you! :-D

*ginormous applause*

Hee! Thanks!

Dear Mr. Singer,

Ow. Yeah, I know, call you Bobby. I'll remember that next time, promise.

Congratulations on the book! They actually sold out in the store down here, and have people on a waiting list for the reorders. Pretty wild huhn?

Tell me, other than Host, what's the best meal to serve with Communion wine? You know, for those times when holy water just won't cut it?

Also, how do you keep Sam from learning all your recipes? When I cook, he's practically perched on my shoulder. Not that I'm complaining..okay, yes I am....

Blessed be,
L.

Dear L.

Thanks. It's caught me a little by surprise to tell ya the truth.

As far as what to serve with Communion wine, that really depends on what your intent is. If it's not for use in a ritual of some kind, you can serve anything you damn well please with it. If it's a case of you've got the wine and not the wafers and you need both for something, sanctifying a Ritz cracker or Triscuit ain't that hard. There's even a way you can sanctify Cheetos in a pinch. I've heard on reasonable authority that at least one angel is partial to 'em.

I'm guessing you mean that 'perched on your shoulder' thing in a figurative rather than literal way. I'd hate to see the result if that big galoot ever tried to perch on anyone's shoulder. Sam's never been one for cooking but a lot has changed about him lately. As much as he does tend to stick his nose in places it don't belong, he ain't picked up any recipes from me.

Sincerely,
B. Singer

This? Is utterly perfect. It's humorous and funny and totally Bobby, and it made me smile ... and then that ending. Awwwwwww. *sniffle*

Perfect. Thank you for sharing this!
Cheers ~

Erin

No problem! Glad you enjoyed!

you are a _god_

I'm just sayin' :D

HA!

Now this is fun!!!

Totally works for me! I can definitely hear Bobby in this!

Thank you!

*grins* That's just awesome.

Thanks!

OMG! This is awesome! Funny and just perfectly Bobby! Thank you for sharing this!

Glad you liked it!

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