caffienekitty | LIFE: My tail of whoa.

Allow me to iterate for you all, the proceedings of my morning. Or the lack of them.

I was supposed to leave for work extra early to pick up breakfast for my boss, take it to her house, and pick up things to be taken to the office. Not usually a big deal.

Less than halfway there, and something started dragging. So I pulled over into a gas station, my tailpipe was dragging on the ground. Okay, fine. Tried to pull it up to see if it would, I dunno, levitate or something, and it fell right off. Completely rusted through. Again, okay, fine, at least it isn't dragging anymore. Pitched it into the hatch, trying to keep the warm muffler away from the, like, assorted ubiquitous car chemicals and stuff so nothing would explode. Got back in the car (which is a bit louder, yeah) went through Tim Horton's drive-through, picked up my boss's breakfast.

As I exit the Tim Horton's parking lot, there's a grinding noise, which continues as I drive. I am confused by this as the muffler is in my trunk, so it's not what's dragging. Make it through the left hand turn at the lights, figuring it'll go away, or clear up or something, drive over a little square manhole cover and *CLANG*

Pull. Over. Turn on the four-ways. Look in the mirror. There's more car innards on the road! They're from my car! I didn't know my car had that many innards! Yay! Joy and bliss!

Sit in my car on the side of the road for about a minute staring at my car's now-external innards. Take a brief moment to expand my vocabulary.

Out of the car, on to the road. Innards are of course too hot to handle. Kick them to the side of the road and along the shoulder (which was quite cathartic, actually). Pick up scorching hot car innards and pitch them into the hatch. Do some more rearanging to keep the automotive chemicals away from the hotness.

Get back into car. Start car. Car now sounds like a bush plane. Much loudness. Fine. Loudness doesn't make the car not go. Attempt to get back into traffic. Something. Is. Still. Dragging! Not even the slightest clue what it might be, because judging from the contents of the hatch, there is nothing left for it to be dragging.

Call boss. On a cell phone, in the middle of the worst cell reception in the area. Boss is hard of hearing. Boss has lost her hearing aids. Conversation much as follows.

"Hello?"
"Hi, [BossName]?"
"Hello?"
"Can you-"
"Hello?"
"HI! [BOSSNAME]!"
"Who is this?"
"It's [MyName]."
"[OtherBossName]? You're fading out."
"NO, [MYNAME]."
"What?"
"I've got a bit of a problem"
"What? Did you get my breakfast?"
"I said I've- arg. I HAVE YOUR BREAKFAST, BUT MY CAR'S BROKEN DOWN."
"You have my breakfast? Where are you?"
*pw-eeee* *signal lost* *redial*
"Hello?"
"Hi I lost-"
*pw-eeee* *signal lost*

Give up on cell phone, drive car back home, unknown car organs dragging all the way, and park.

Yes, I got to work. Yes, I got home from work. Yes, my boss got her freeping breakfast. No, I don't know if the hot car innards in the hatch caught the automotive chemicals on fire after I parked it, I haven't looked at it since and at this point I'm not overly concerned, it can burn where it sits if it wants to. Yes, I am looking for another car.

Oh, and yes, the subject line is a horrible pun.