Please hold, your call will be ignored in priority sequence

[caffienekitty]

My ISP's on-hold recording seems to be designed to drive people psychotic. It's the usual mix of music, 'thank you for holding' messages and advertising, all cutting each other off at random intervals. Here's a short transcript:

"...Behind a wall of doubt-"
"-please continue to hold our-"
"-know that [ISP] offers answers to many bill questions online? Go to-"
"-say you, say me-"
"-each of our high speed options, including-"
"-naturally-"
"-Did you know video on demand offers an evening of entertainment for 5.99? Curl up on the-"
"-say it together-"
"-customer service reps about easy ways to save on your-"
"-patience is appreciated. Please continue to hold and your call will be answered-"
"-naturally..."

Now imagine that for ten to fifteen minutes at minimum. I asked the tech about it, he said they don't know why it's like that, it's been like that for years and no one knows how to fix it.

This is Tech Support for one of the largest ISP's in Canada. Now that's confidence-inspiring!

Comments

[phoenix-rose-up.livejournal.com]

who's your isp?? (is curious)

[caffienekitty]

Let's just say I'm finding it particulary apt that it's name is a four-letter word. It's not that bad, really, but that on-hold track could be used as a torture in Hell.

[phoenix-rose-up.livejournal.com]

ah yes i think i know who it is.. they're being dicks lately if its who i think it is....

[brigid-tanner.livejournal.com]

That might be more entertaining than the usual crap ;) Just cause you don't know what's next.

[caffienekitty]

I don't know whether I percieve things oddly or what, but that was akin to migraine aura for me. Like... a sentence started and mentally I'm still completing it but the next one starts immediately and needs completed and so on and it just built to a point where it was making me physically ill. :-P

Cognitive cacophony. It's one of the smaller reasons why I can't do crowds. :-/

[brigid-tanner.livejournal.com]

Sorry! I can see where that would be a nightmare for you.

[spuffylvr3.livejournal.com]

You know what sucks more? Being put on one of those holds and then going online to try and fix it yourself and finding out that you've been placed on hold for no reason... because customer service is closed! I seriously was placed on one of those holds for 15 minutes before figuring that out! Yeesh!

At least the randomness of their recording could keep things interesting, no?

~Nicole

[caffienekitty]

You know what sucks more? Being put on one of those holds and then going online to try and fix it yourself and finding out that you've been placed on hold for no reason... because customer service is closed!

Hee! Yeah, that would suck. I was on hold for half an hour for a tech once a long while back and ended up solving the problem myself while I was on hold.

At least the randomness of their recording could keep things interesting, no?

Gnh. Nauseating. I'd take straight music with an ad and a please wait message between songs, or even dead silence except for a 'peep' every 5 or ten seconds to let you know you were still on hold over that cacophonous mishmash.

[aescu]

Well isn't that what tech support and telephone queues are for? To drive sane people nuts?

When I get this 'please hold the line' blabla my brain usually goes in standby mode. Until now I always managed to come back from hibernation quick enough but I'm sure at some time in the future there will be a puzzeled technician hearing only relaxed breathing on the line...

[caffienekitty]

When I get this 'please hold the line' blabla my brain usually goes in standby mode.

Ususally that's the case, but everytime it interrupts, it seems for a second that someone's picked up, but it's just another automated message. :-P

[choreograph999.livejournal.com]

That is freaking hysterical!!!! I'm sorry you had to sit through that.

[caffienekitty]

Meh. I'm sorry I needed to phone tech support at all. They didn't tell me anything I hadn't already figured out.

[samalander-dawn.livejournal.com]

oh for ....

*sigh* those who cannot do, support....

[caffienekitty]

For certain values of the word 'support', yes.