caffienekitty (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
caffienekitty) wrote2008-09-13 03:08 pm
caffienekitty) wrote2008-09-13 03:08 pm
Reaction: Torchwood Radio play
This radio play thing is further proof that Torchwood is televised fanfic. I saw the news thing about the LHC at CERN and went "Ooo! I bet Torchwood'd be watching that closely! *beats plot bunny off with stick*" and lo and behold, here's canon of Torchwood versus the LHC. Quod Erat Demonstrandum, or something.
-Weevil chase. "Hi! We're Torchwood! Here are our real names, (or at least our real names except Jack)! We're in your bar to catch aliens! They're called Weevils!" *facepalm* Torchwood really hasn't got the hang of the whole 'covert' thing, do they?
-I love the detail in the background of the phone call of Gwen and Ianto's ongoing weevil chase and assorted noises of the city. And the splash. Hee!
-The "El Haich See" *pats Gwen's 'haich'*
-Higgs bosun. Not Higgs particle. Higgs bosun. Yes, I'm being pedantic about something I actually don't know anything about. Higgs particle just sounds wrong. It's been a Higgs bosun since the start. *mutters*
-"Candy-floss!" *giggles* You aren't fooling anyone Ianto. You're really a six-foot-tall five-year-old.
-Has John Barrowman spent, like, a lot of time on children's shows? In the radio play when he's doing exposition about the LHC and particle physics, he's sounding like he's talking to very young children. A bit too much diction and enunciation and smile in the voice at times. The rest of them sound like their characters. Fantastically so.
-"They've got a really big camera." Oh Ianto. Hee!
-"And Martha's got us front row tickets!" Jack's tone of voice there. Faaaaangirl!
-"Mr. Ianto Jones. Ambassador for Wales." *choking* Bwah!
-"And their personal assistant, Mr. Harkness."/"*grunt*" Hee! Oh come on Jack, you'll find out more among the staff than you ever will from a bunch of stuffy political idiots.
-They're doing a great job of giving a sense of movement through an unseen space. Freema Agyeman in particular is kicking ass and taking names. I can 'see' her whenever she's talking.
-Random ponderage: Would Jack survive being sucked into a black hole? Of course last time I heard, as things get accelerated to the speed of light, the passage of time slows to almost a stand still, so there'd be Jack, alive, stretched out by the extreme gravity and eternally falling... *shudder*
-'Severe migraine.' Whee. I wasn't aware that glowing and babbling about life force in
-All the victims were in the tunnel when they fell ill. Erm. Where in the tunnel, dudes? That damn thing's miles long. Even which country they were
-"His neutrons are missing!" HA! Quick! Someone reverse the polarity of the neutron flow! *snerk*
-Oooo, time agency backstory! A critter he's met before. That handles a ton of 'why exactly are we getting this exposition fed to us other than for the benefit of the audience, Jack?' type muddling.
-It eats their neutrons. This makes them glow and possibly be translucent. Yes. Of course it does. Because Torchwood is made of crack. *nods*
-Jack: "Is Ianto moaning?" *koff* *insert plethora of amused Janto-related snarkage here* They're so damned cute!
-Yeah. Split up and go in opposite directions down the stupidly long tunnel with the monster in it. Lovely idea. Even after everything, you're still raging idiots aren't you?
-I really hope they got a better 'here we go!' speech at the real CERN. Lordy.
-Hee! For once someone doesn't know who Torchwood is! And Jack is being reacted to like a raving nutbag! As well he should be! Yay!
-"Cold. Damp. Underground. I could have stayed in Cardiff!" Heeeeee! *pats Gwen*
-'How are you doing, really? No, really. Since, you know, that.' Jeez Martha. Nosy much? Maybe they don't want to talk about it yet.
-The Foley people working the sound effects and background noise and so forth are sure earning their keep. Wow.
-"My bike's got a bell! *tingting*" *giggles* Aw. Ianto. Such a kid at heart.
-"Iiiaaantoooo." Oh crap that singsongy voice got me! Gyaaah!
-"Sooooo... You're the dead then?" BWAAAAH!
-Owen. Ow.
-When anything in the darkness wants help because it's starving, toss food at it and run away. Don't let it eat your
-Tosh. And ow again. Monsters that play with your mind. Ooo.
-Aw crap. Not Lisa too. *giggles and waves hello to Tamara, just 'coz*
-"Are you okay?"/"Yeah. No. Sort of." *snort*
-"The dead stay dead, Ianto, they don't come back." Except for Jack. And Suzie. And the Doctor of course. And half a hundred other things. But that's not important right now.
-Oh, shouting Ianto! Ooo and he screams nice! *koff* Um. I mean... uh. Never mind. *whistles innocently*
-Um. Martha? Someone who comes casually and unexpectedly into the place you've just found the stashed comatose glowing bodies of 12 people? Is not your friend. Dumbass.
-Ow ow ow. Oh Ianto. Ow.
-"anti-proton beam" Why does that sound like the High King of bad ideas? Ooo, right. Things go boom.
-I knew some polarity was gonna get flipped. It was meant to be.
-Yay Gwen being sassy at the... do these things have a name yet? Neutron eaters.
-Why are we not dog-piling on the maniac with the gun while he's having a crisis of faith or sanity or whatever?
-Reverse the Polarity! Jack said it! Woohooo! \o/ Hee. Yeah, I'm a little obsessed. The only time Jon Pertwee's Doctor ever said the full phrase "reverse the polarity of the neutron flow" is during my Doctor Who birth episode, "The Sea Devils". And "The Five Doctors" but that was outside of his era. *handwaves* So, uh, yeah. *stamps 'geek' onto forehead and calls it done*
-Ianto's not that heavy, Gwen, come on. He's what, like 180, 200 pounds? There's cable and bicycles and everything. Probably even little carts for scooting underneath the accelerator tube and doing stuff. Improvise!
-"Dying in a tunnel in Switzerland." Nothing wrong with Switzerland. And it's a brightly lit tunnel.
-"Jack's there! And coffee! You love coffee! Coffee and Jack!" Yeah, Ianto, I think the door's wide open on that office fling with the boss you're having. Of course that thing in the greenhouse she walked in on might have tipped her off. ;-D
-Seriously, Gwen, I'm not muscular and I've picked up and packed men Ianto's size. Not very far and not recently, mind, but still. How about fireman's carry? Or take a couple long wrenches or pipes or whatever's bound to be lurking around down that tunnel, run 'em through the frames of the two bikes, lash 'em on with random cables (which, incidentally if you happened to liberate them from the proton accelerator, would probably force it to shut down, hm? Or go boom. Hm.), load Ianto on and rickshaw him out of there! Or maybe one of the techs has a Segway hidden down there! There are options! Sitting there whining that you can't pull him any further is not going to get him to move. He's got a brain full of neutron-eaters.
-I know that 'Higgs particle' has been used in the media and is a perfectly apt term for the thing they're looking for, but to me IT'S A HIGGS BOSUN! FOR FRAG'S SAKE!!! *gnashes teeth* 'Higgs particle' keeps reminding me of that squeaky-voiced character from the Police Academy movies and it's a really annoying association.
-It's pseudo-science! Yay!! *facepalm*
-"We're just an accident." Ooo. Cheers then!
-Ooo! Villain is monologging! Now is the time to strike! Now! No, now! Come on, before it bores the guy to death! Torchwood needs to develop a monologue detector. *nods*
-It's. A. Particle. Stop drooling over it. That goes double for you Jack, as I don't think there's a way for a humanoid life-form to have sex with a sub-atomic particle, but I'm sure you'd take that as a challenge rather than a restriction. Yeesh.
-"Your angel-coma patients should be returning to normal." Okay, how does that work? The creature ate their neutrons, right? Did it regurgitate their neutrons? How do the neutrons know how to get back? Does it matter if they get back to the same atom in the same cell they were eaten out of? Are they different since the neutrons are regurgitated? If the creature was feeding on the neutrons, doesn't that mean they were consumed, and therefore used up?? ...I'm over-thinking this, aren't I? I blame the fact that Ianto is getting whumped and muttering deliriously and glowing and A) I can't see it, and B) Jack isn't swooping in to tuck him into a warm bed and feed him sweet tea and scones. What? You have your distractions from the plot-holes, I have mine.
-"HQ" = Haich Kyew *huggles the accent*
-Life and questions and questions that asking them is the answer to themselves... Er. Wow? Unexpected philosophy much?
Anyway, there we go. If anyone read this, I hope it was enlightening or entertaining or something.
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The Torchwood radio play is available straight from the BBC as an MP3 download for the next few days. IMO, it's worth the bandwidth.